You’re having a catch-up coffee with a key team member and realise that the time you allocated for the key discussion points you had in mind has almost elapsed.
You don’t have more time available, and are hit with your second realisation, that this is a common issue when you arrange such informal meetings.
The challenge in many a scenario like this isn’t necessarily the informality of the meeting, but in the methodology of the messaging.
While ‘small talk’ can prove an effective intro’ to a more important discussion topic, it can also spiral into a social engagement, with little structure, purpose, or desirable outcomes.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
Adopting a more assertive style of communication can help you become more direct and explicit, while being delivered with the appropriate level of courtesy and consideration for the situation and the other person involved.
If you consider a communication spectrum which ranges from submissive through to aggressive, assertiveness can prove your greatest ally in specific situations.
Assertive communication allows you to clearly make a point or observation, without the need to be accusatory or antagonistic, all while remaining considerate of the other person in the conversation.
3 C’s of Assertive Communication
While a more assertive approach can sound ideal for certain conversations, it’s not easy to adopt with little experience or exposure. So, to better understand how to implement this strategy, consider how you can build in these 3 C’s to select conversations.
- Clear: To help you communicate more assertively, use valid observations, data and clear expression to avoid any ambiguity or adding unnecessary ‘fluff’.
- Controlled: Stay calm and maintain your composure, even when there are contentious points to be raised or addressed.
- Concise: Brevity can prove to be a superpower in communication. Avoid the ‘long & lengthy’ conversations where the point of importance gets lost in the mire of banter.
The advantages for further developing your competencies in assertive communication include:
- Improved conflict resolution
- Enhanced self-confidence and conviction
- Decreases misunderstandings and ambiguity
- Distinguishes boundaries
- Clarifies boundaries.
Remember, each conversation or communication with team members will require the appropriate strategy or approach, and while a more assertive style may be useful in some situations, it can not be seen as a one-size-fits-all remedy.